Tangerine Snot

For the past three days I’ve been blowing bright yellow-orange snot associated with an allergic rhinitis like sneezing and congestion but only with my right nostril. I thought it might have been an allergic/infective sinisitis/rhinitis although the symptoms were slightly different to my usual. I have now put two and two together. I did a line of coke (with my right nostril) a couple of days prior to the stream of snot. Strange that this is the first time I’ve had this reaction. Probably tainted coke.

Oopsy La La – ‘Tis the End of Big Phil’s Reg Grundies

I’d made a prediction at an early point in the conception of my blog that some day the name would come to an end. That day is today. I just got weary of Big Phil’s Reg Grundies and have found a name more suitable to my needs. It’s rather self-explanatory. Kind of sums up my life and who I am…but in a good way…I think. The greatest dilemma was if it should be “Oopsy” or “Oopsie.”

The actual phrase was one that my gay friends and I would use back in the day when I was a fag-hag, to described anything/person/situation that was not quite right, confused, off centre, but could also be used in a complimentary manner by emphasising the “La La” in a soft seductive tone. It’ll do for now.

I’ve Been Conned

Despite multiple attempts at buying grown up work shoes, I always end up wearing sneaker type shoes for comfort. Not very professional but, hey, at least OH&S should be pleased. For the past 3 years, my leather Chuck Taylors have had a serious work out. Loose threads, open heels and wafer-thin soles…they have officially been retired.

Now introducing, Chuck Taylor Wool…

And Chuck Taylor Floral… My feet are happy.

Nerd Family and Metamorphosis in Rhumba

Ta-da! I frogged the sleeves of my Jilly cardi and now have a poncho and a vest in Rhumba.

I’ve been shopping at various sites trying to get a hold of Ribbon Twist in Rabble (out of stock and no longer in production, I was informed by one shop) and am awaiting Racy to make myself yet another poncho. Here’s Ava in Rabble that I prepared earlier. I’m waiting in delicious anticipation for my two Kim Hargreaves kits. The Hargreaves have been very sweet over the phone sorting out my order.

Our lounge room resembles a hobby and craft store at the moment . I’ve been into knitting and Thabo, in an effort to relax and relieve the stress of work, has been building model aircrafts. We’re like two children playing with our toys. Or as he fondly refers to it, “We’re the Nerd family.”

Knitty Narwee, A Hater of Cats

I’ve started knitting again. The last time was about 2 years ago when the nurses and I got into a scarf knitting frenzy. I started again just before Christmas, as a way of calming myself. Meditation, if you will. But this time, I’m actually knitting real things. Here’s my list so far: 2 scarves, 7 beanies, 2 ponchos and a cardigan. I’m in love with Rowan Ribbon Twist yarn (I’m about 3 years behind everyone else) and Kim Hargreaves’ patterns. I’ve ordered 2 from her website.

These are some of my beanies knitted from Rowan Country. Not enough heads, so I’ve given them to friends and family.

This Jilly cardigan is from the Ribbon Twist Collection. It looked great in the book in red. I’m not too impressed by it. In the colour Rhumba it looks like a granny’s cardigan. I thought about giving it to my mum initially but have decided to take it apart and make another poncho instead.

The Ava poncho is so graceful. I fell in love with it immediately. Here it is in Regency. I’ve made myself one in Rabble and am awaiting more wool in other colours. So mum, my Aunty and my friend in the States (who is experiencing a Homer obesity moment as a result of excessive doses of carbimazole for her hyperactive thyroid) will be receiving wooly gifts made with love.

In any case, I’ve become a real knitting geek. I’ve been searching knitting blogs to check out other people’s works…and I’m bloody posting photos of my own knits! Thabo calls me his Knitty Narwee. But at least I don’t have a cat. God, how I hate cats and it seems like every other knitter out there has a cat. Knitters and cats. Single women and cats. Lesbians and cats. What is it with cats? But I love dogs and get more excited about being able to own a dog one day than I do about babies. Then I’ll start knitting dog clothes. Yep, gonna be one of those sad people who treats their pup like a real baby.

Dirty Little Secret

I have a dirty little secret…

I voted on, “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!”

Things I Wished Didn’t Happen This Weekend

1. While leaning over the couch to plug in the telephone cord, I hit my head on the corner of the heater. Fuck, it hurt. Now, I have a massive lump marked with a red (blood) line on my forehead.
2. Watched the Wallabies game on TV. Can’t say I’m a fan of experimental positioning. However, if it means that a decent team can be created for the lead up to the World Cup, then bring it on. Right now, we are embarrassing.
3. Got drunk which resulted in miscommunication and a whole lot of fury. And me sleeping on the couch in our former home.
4. I told them all the appliances were working. I knew that their TV wasn’t but said that we had only ever used our own and wouldn’t know if theirs was okay or not. I don’t know why I lied. I feel so guilty about it because they were such wonderful landlords.

Red Red Wine

Pity I don’t enjoy white wine. Spills are much less conspicuous. After wine was accidentally spilt over my shirt, I knocked over my own glass onto someone else. Three girls, all drunk, and all wearing white shirts. When we left, our clothes were accessorized by splatters of red wine. The sleeve of my shirt was also caked with chocolate.

Vanish, you are a saviour. White shirt now gleaming and stain-free. If only there was an instant fix-it for my hangover. I’ve just devoured a steak sandwich for lunch and no doubt will eat another steak for dinner. It’s the right thing to do, marrying red wine with red meat. Things could have turned out much worse – I could be vegetarian.

Auf Wiedersehen

So, so pissed! Am getting ready to go out after a farewell and would like nothing more than to strip off and get into bed. Will have to carry my pen (as self-defence weapon ‘cos they say you shouldn’t carry anything that obviously can be used against you) on the way home…in a black cab if one would be kind enough to stop for me.

Shit! It’s only 9.20pm and I am maggot!

Big Phil’s Reg Grundies

This is the 3rd name change for my blog. Big Phil’s Reg Grundies. Random, nonsensical and incongruous with the floral girliness with which I’ve elected to garnish my blog. I don’t even know a Phil. I knew a Phillip. He had dark hair and brown eyes. He could run very fast and I was in love with him. We were in grade 1 and 2 together.

Maybe if one thought laterally enough, one would come to the conclusion that you might found similar contents here to what one might find if they looked in the undies of an individual known as “Big Phil,”- shit-smears, piss-stains, sweat, blood, and the odd fart-trail. And genitalia and an anus. Too many pizzas, white bread and steaks washed down with beer. Alternating contipation and diarrhoea aggravating the haemorrhoid caused by excessive straining and the pressure of carrying too much weight in fat.

Yes, far more visual, if not appealing, than previous titles:

• A Day in the Life of…(every man and his dog)
• An Indulgent Self (“Get fucked!” Way too much self-love.)

I dare say there will be variations of the current title being created over the coming weeks. I’m afraid that if I ever let my blog air in the public cyberspace, and if others actually read my postings, they’d be sorely disappointed and realize that I am quite literally just full of shit. There are some wonderfully funny and insightful blogs out there and I feel rather embarrassed by my own.